The 

O'Coin/

Reizner Wedding Site

The following is the original script and lyrics to the Wedding Reception Debut of

Cousin’s Delusional Kazoo Band

Staging:  Two chairs on the right, two chairs on the left

               Cousins in the middle with kazoos

               Props hidden behind or in pockets

i.e. kazoos, cowbells, signs, yellow brick road, rainbow,  presentation materials

Sung to the tune of “If I Only Had A Brain”.

Please play in areas noted with “KAZOO”

          “\”           indicates notes dropping in pitch

          “---“          indicates notes at the same pitch

Please sing in areas noted with “ALL”

KAZOO

Musical prelude, one chorus before the song begins

He’s a kind and gentle Jew

But he’s never said, “I do”

He deflects it with a joke

          KAZOO \

The relationship was good

So he never said he would

Frustration for the folks

          KAZOO ---

With the parties and the toasting

I will stop my brother’s roasting

Pointing fingers isn’t fair

          KAZOO \

As the family pressed him, will he

I am equally as guilty

Let’s refocus on Bob and Mare

          KAZOO ---

(ALL)

Oh, I, can tell you why

You should marry this guy

And we, should all agree

That it is she, who wanted …….

          “ME” sign (Teri)

After working at the prison

You showed increasing wisdom

Trading inmates for the “U”

          KAZOO \

Be it biking in Vermont

Or enduring double entendre

She continued to be true

          KAZOO ---

She met him at Dean Rieger’s  (click for sound)

Who would ever thought it figures

They’d be marrying today

          KAZOO \

Many years and many seasons

But she finally found the reasons

To make this fella stay

          KAZOO ---

          (ALL)

O’Coin it’s time to join

It’s genuine, not purloined

And we, should all agree

Because it’s he, who wanted …….

          “ME” sign (Teri)

So the timing’s finally right

For a lawyer with web site

Make a contract for all time

          KAZOO \

He’s a cook not a cleaner

She’s of quieter demeanor

A recipe sublime

          KAZOO ---

He made his move while at the Louver

No question she understood

In a trance, from romance

Not by chance, the magic France

Wedding plans and etiquette

Blending Michigan, Connecticut

The families start to gel

          KAZOO \

With material as this

Can’t miss with wedding bliss

Watch the family’s mega kvell

          KAZOO ---

No longer just as friends

Eating sushi till the ends

Playing cards and drinking wine

          KAZOO \

In the witnesses of Cows

You are mated with these vows

You’re lives to be entwined

          KAZOO ---

          (ALL)

Oy Vay, it is the day

When single thoughts give way

You’ll see, the future’ll be

No longer me, instead it’s …….

“WE” sign (Teri)

Walk the yellow brick together

In both good and stormy weather

Follow feelings and the path

          KAZOO \

Dance the waltz and the tango

You deserve to see the rainbow

One plus one is now the math

          KAZOO ---

HOLD UP THE RAINBOW (Lee and Russell) AND THE “OZSILANTI TOWNSHIP” SIGN (Aileen) FOR THE AUDIENCE TO SEE.

As I finish up this chorus

He’s still trying to sell his Taurus

Any takers in the crowd

          KAZOO \

This is such a splendid day

You’ll be happy in all ways

Love you guys you make us proud

          KAZOO ---

Continue to play the music and at the same time roll out the yellow brick road (Laura) so Bob and Mare can walk towards the rainbow.  Teri and I will escort them from their seats to the yellow brick road.  Then LOWER the rainbow so they can HOP over it to “OZsilanti”. 

The music should stop after they are seated in OZ on the other side of the rainbow at the end of a verse.

I will then make several presentations.  The following people will be responsible for handing these to Bob and Mare at the appropriate time.  Please hold them up high as you present them so the audience can see.

Brain to be given to Mare:  Lee

Heart to be given to Bob:  Laura

Medals of courage to both Bob and Mare:  Sheri and Russell

In the category of There Is No Place Like Home:  Money towards a motorized awning from the cousins  (Checks inside a cow bank)

Cow bells……Kiss

Mazol Tov and Mooing

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After The  Cousin's Delusional Kazoo Band finished, Bob had the band play "If I only had a Brain" . Bob and Maryann spontaneously started to dance.  Bob had asked the band to prepare all the verses, but he didn't know that there are many more in the original.  We danced for a long time, but for us there was only two people in the room.

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For Cousin Lee: